Balance

             My husband, John, never met a pretty woman he didn't want to flirt with or a child that he didn't want to interact with.  He could be annoying, irritating and charming all within a minute.  His favorite phases in the second part of his life were, "well, we got some thing done today" and "they were really nice people".  He finished most day by saying the first, meaning our day had purpose.  The second phase after meeting anyone one new was his belief system that all people are fundamentally good.
             John had the ability to walk in between two contractor that were swearing at each other and making threatening jesters.  Both were frightened by the punishing December rains and wanted to complete their work on our yard before a freeze during the building period.  John quietly walked up to one and talk for a few minutes and then went to the other and spend some moments.  I still don't know what he said but both of them changed demeanor.  Our general contractor stood speechless.  In the six months of working with us, he had never seen that side of John.  The atmosphere had changed.
             One of my favorite pictures of John reflects our differences.  I had a goal of visiting China from the moment I realize it was possible.  John had no interest, in fact, used labor issues with his company as a reason that it would humiliate him to took such a trip during such times.  I had taken two semester of college courses on Chinese history in preparation for this life time adventure, wanted my children and John to go with me.   I waited another year, again I brought up my goal of travel to China.   This time, I was firm, come with us or stay home.  John in the end with no interest except to be at my side, made the trip.
              The year is 1985, we were visiting Mao's favorite tea plantation, I stepped out of a tea drying room to photograph women in the stream below me some getting drinking water and while others washed clothes.  My thoughts are on the cleanliness of this water and the tea that will be offered.  Suddenly, many people are calling my name and telling me to come quickly back in to the drying room.  Here is John sitting on one of the wooden boxes leaning over a huge heated steel bowl fulled with tea leaves using his hand to stir.  I have seen a local man do this minutes before.  Using sign language, John had asked if he may try and the man got up and gave John his wooden box. The room stopped.  All the Americans were taking pictures and all the Chinese were standing in a line with their hand over their mouths to hide their laughter of both the strangeness of the sight and the inexperience of the new tea dryer.
                 I studied books and John studied people.  I was curious, John needed to be included in my life.  We balance each other perfectly in years of globe circling. John enriched my travels.