The sound was off, I couldn't identify what was wrong but it was strange noise.
I walked back into the bathroom found that John had taken the electric toothbrush fully loaded and used it as the electric shaver. His upper lip to the nose and the sides of his mouth was covered like he had grown a large white mustache. His skill with the electric shaver is not highly developed and he knows it, so I guess, he had a new go at it with a toothbrush.
"My, oh my, John, we have to start over!". I got a clean face cloth soaped it up and handed it to him, standing there. I quickly could see that he had not comprehended the project at hand. I took over and washed his face like I did with my children when they were toddlers. Then I stood there and reloaded his tooth brush and slowly went though the steps on how to place the bush and the motions needed to use the bush on his teeth. John smelled all clean and fresh after this routine. He placed his glasses back on, smiled like a child ready for the day.
The conference that I attended a week ago had a discussion about some of the skills and solutions that are helpful in dealing with an Alzheimer (AD) person. Imagine looking at the world and it is unfamiliar and strange. You have lost control of your surroundings and abilities. Your aware enough to know that you need to find the something that makes you feel comfortable but outside your spouse and your home, few people or places provide it. Starting from there, it helps the caregiver understand the needs of one that they care for.
While weeding Saturday, John sitting nearby said to me, "In a little while, can we go home?"
"Well, John, we are outdoors but turn around, there is our house. We are home, that is where we live."
I gathered by his comment that he would rather be in the house next to me that outside not knowing what to do but watching me. Not knowing what to do is a major problem for AD. It is also a major challenge for the caregiver because the jobs they can do so often means total supervision and is very time consuming for the caregiver.
Another hint I heard at the conference is that AD individuals like car rides. Everyone know what to do while riding in the car- look out the window. It is suggested that is someone wants to go home. Get in the car, go for a ride, get an ice cream cone and then go back HOME. I have since done this twice and this outing is very comforting for John.
Surprisingly, giving up driving was not a life changing event for John. He accepted it quickly and easily. What has been more important is not having the strength to start the lawn mower. This past weekend he tried a few times, move the mower in and out of the garage, then came and talk to me about it while I was weeding, then forgot the facts and tried again. Finally, I went and put the garage door down and got him engaged in a project in the backyard. John has lost strength over the years so that has not been surprising to me.
The thing, that jarred me for a second, was John lost the knowledge of how a wine opener works. For those who have known John a life time, clean shaved, grass always cut and five o'clock opening of the wine bottle were signature activities. He has lost all three abilities but he still like five o'clock in the afternoon and recognizes grass uncut and when his face is unshaven.
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